Recently I have asked myself some questions such as: Who am I? Am I the same person who I was five years ago? How much have I changed from then? Are we changing all the time or are the events that happened which make us feel different?
As time passes, people grow up and relationships change. What my friends and I used to talk about when we were teenagers are no longer our topics of conversation nowadays. Now, at my 27 years old, most of our more common topics are based on our love-relationships, how it is work going on and teasing each other regards of who would be the next one getting married or having kids. I am sure this is not the same case for guys because they do not like too much to talk about their relationships unless, maybe, they are having some drinks.
There is this pressure from the outside to have a career that is respected and well-paid, be married and have children. If any person in their late thirties does not meet these three requisites people may start thinking what is wrong with he/she? Why everybody is expecting that from everybody else? Is everyone afraid of breaking the social norms because of their fear of change?
I must say it I am not good while dealing with changes. I do not like them because they make me feel unstable. And unfortunately, many changes are not scheduled but they just occur. This might be a little hard for those people who want to have control of almost everything in their lives. I should include me in this list.
However, change can have a hopeful and positive face. I do think that people can enhance their coping skills in the more dramatic circumstances. They can turn more fearless, feel stronger or in the worst scenario be more fearful and resentful. There are those who have made the best decisions in their lives under the worst circumstances. Steve Jobs (1955-2011) decided to start over with the company Pixar after he was fired from Apple. By the way, I think everybody should see his video “How to live before you die”. Neil Pasricha, started his blog "1000 Awesome Things" after his wife left him and his best friend comitted suicide.
Life is changing constantly. What we have now is because something that we had before is gone. In other words, nothing remains without change. As Heraclitus (535-475 BCE) once wrote there is nothing permanent except for change. As of me, I am just looking forward to turn the page for keep reading the next chapter of my book. Of course, I do not expect having a traditional life just a happy one.
Many times we need making changes to our life. Maybe they are not very easy but something really powerful makes us doing them. If you need to make an important change to be happy, don't hesitate about it. The most important change is that, it would make us a better person every day.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the second post more than the first. I liked the combination of personal reflection, psychology, advice, philosophy, and popular culture.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to the next post!
Thanks for your comment, Stuart! I am glad to hear you enjoyed reading my post. Stay tunned:)
ReplyDeleteWomen talk versus men talk: I don't agree with your assessment that men only discuss relationships after they have had drinks. I think that is a rash generalization. It depends on the individual. In my experience I have found men to talk about (in no particular order) sports, work, politics, religion, news topics of the day and relationships. In a group setting most of the talk regarding relationships is "macho" talk. In a private setting with a close friend I believe that discussions regarding relationships can be intimate and soul searching.
ReplyDeleteIn a situation in which a dramatic change in life is created "some" people can turn that situation into a positive, but many do not possess the ability to accept change and modify their behavior. It's called human frailty. Those who can adapt and convert change into a positive generally are those who become successful in their professional and/or personal life. Most likely there are common factors related to those who can adapt to significant changes. Some may be: level of education, family upbringing, living environment, mental social toughness. Those who can not adapt to changes, either small or large, will follow the path of least resistance. Following this path of mediocrity will find them searching but never finding a solution that will provide personal or professional fulfillment. As they approach old age their favorite phrases will be; If only, I wish I would have and/or Why didn't I?
ReplyDeletePamela, I enjoyed reading your words and gaining an insight to your thoughts on this interesting and thought-provoking topic. There is a Japanese proverb that provides an wise commentary on accepting changes in life. It goes like this:
ReplyDeleteThe bamboo which bends is stronger than the oak which resists.
Take care and good luck with all of the changes, planned or unplanned, which you will be experiencing as your life unfolds.
Thanks very much for your interest, Jack! Different opinions and points of view are always very welcome. I think one of the most saddest things that any human being can experience is the blame for not having done anything when they could(because of their fear of change or failure, etc). After a while, they may regret for not doing nothing about it. If we try doing something and it does not work out, we can at least feel good about ourselves because we did everything that was in our reach by that time. Life is a wonderful experience in which some situations are unpredictable as some risks are very welcome.
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